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Maid and matron of honor: top 10 things you need to do

Your friend or relative has chosen you for her maid or matron of honor! Here are a list of duties and responsibilites you will have in this role.

Congratulations! It is such an honor to be chosen as the maid or matron of honor at a friend’s or relative’s wedding. A bride chooses the woman who is closest to her to stand next to her and support her during this wonderful event in her life. You will be there every step of the way to offer encouragement as your friend takes her step into couplehood. Here are a few duties you will have as the maid or matron of honor.

1) This may be a time of stress or anxiety for your friend, as she plans everything for her wedding. Most brides usually take the reins in planning the entire event with little help from the groom, so you will want to be there for your friend to give moral support. If you are already married, you will want to answer all of the bride’s questions she may have about marriage and commitment in a positive light. Be her sounding board as well as the voice of reason. If she is going over budget, let her know. If she is stressing, help her vent.

2) You will be in charge of planning the bridal shower, along with the help of the other bridesmaids. Find out where the bride is registered and let the guests know through word of mouth, since many books on etiquette say it is in bad taste to put this on the invitation. Talk to the bride and groom to see if they want an all-girl or co-ed bridal shower. Get a list of the bride’s and groom’s friends and family and send out invitations. You will also want to organize the food and games at the party. Allow other bridesmaids or family members to chip in money if they offer.

3) As if there weren’t enough parties, you will also want to get together with the bridesmaids and other close girlfriends and throw her a bachelorette party. Make sure you know what type of bachelorette party she wants to have. Some wild girls will want strippers and clubbing while the more subdued bride may want to go to a spa or just hang out at a restaurant.

4) In addition to throwing these two parties, you will need to attend any other pre-wedding events, as well, including the engagement party, rehearsal dinner and rehearsal.

5) You will be the official spokeswoman and coordinator of the other bridesmaids, so make sure they are aware of the different events they will need to attend.

6) More than likely all of the bridal party will be wearing the same or similar outfits. If they are going to be made, you will be in charge of scheduling the fittings for the different bridesmaids as well as handling all monetary transactions between the bridesmaids and the tailor.

7) Before the actual wedding, the bride will probably be swamped with things to do, such as designing and creating the wedding favors, addressing all of the wedding invitations and shopping for various wedding items like her dress, the guest book, the groom’s ring and decorations. Always keep in contact with the bride and ask her if there is anything you can help her with. She may not want to burden you by asking for help, but she will appreciate the thought when you call.

8) Before the wedding ceremony, in addition to getting yourself dressed, you will be in charge of helping the bride get dressed as well as helping the other bridesmaids with their hair and/or makeup appointments.

9) During the ceremony, after the bride has walked down the aisle, you will want to straighten out the bride’s train (if she has one) for the pictures as well as hold her bouquet once she is situated. You may also be responsible for holding the groom’s ring and handing it to the bride at the appropriate time.

10) Right after the wedding ceremony and before the reception, you will help the bride by bustling her gown (if she needs it) so she can more comfortably walk around and dance and mingle.